Being familiar to a number of Japanese pop literature, like manga, anime, and movies, I found one recurring pattern. Finding love is not traditionally as hard as in my home country of Indonesia. By traditionally, I mean in terms of culture and religion.

Let me present this scenario. Many people start falling in love in high school or university (or their equivalent). Me too. I suppose in Japan, most of those who study in high schools and universities are also Japanese. Therefore, we can assume that love-based relationships between fellow Japanese are the majority. As it has been known, Japan is relatively homogeneous, so there is no big problem in finding mates, because almost everybody shares the same cultural background. Yes there are Ainu, Chongryon, Chinese Japanese, Brazilian Japanese, Christian Japanese, Moslem Japanese, but most of them are still ethnic Japanese with Shintoism and Buddhism backgrounds. There is almost no need to hold feelings, just because the person you love have different background. This came into my mind, because there is almost no mention of Japanese couples having problems to share loves because of their backgrounds in the pop literature. I think I only found one, in the manga Kenji, because the female protagonist comes from a yakuza family. I consulted a friend who had stayed for a long time in Japan, whether this only happens in comics, but, well, it is the truth. I cannot find any Japanese movie like the Indonesian indie movie Cin(t)a, which tells a bittersweet love story between a couple having different religions. Yes, as most of my readers are aware of, this happens a lot of times in Indonesia (and also in many heterogeneous countries), especially if you are a minority, like me. Even after moving to a foreign country (Singapore), I still belong to the minority. Christian Javanese. Javanese is considered Malay here. More than 99% of Malay people are Moslem, and most of people who attend my church are either Chinese, Indian, or Filipino. We have to hold feelings very often, because there is a big chance that you might fall in love to people who, rather than belonging to your community, belong to the unmarriageable communities.

Hi, teens in Japan. I am jealous at you. I don’t like the condition in many heterogeneous countries, and I just hope sooner of later this prevailing barrier disappears, even after I expire.

Oh wait, at least at this era I can try my luck with Spanish women. I heard many of them were super.

Sara Carbonero

Sara Carbonero, via Wikipedia


17 Responses to “Jealousy”

  1. 1 lambrtz 26/06/2011 at 9:48 PM


    Well I guess I’m in my mating age hahahaha

  2. 2 itikkecil 26/06/2011 at 10:43 PM

    galau detected….

  3. 3 lambrtz 26/06/2011 at 11:00 PM

    Yaa setidaknya kalau saya galau produktif gitu, menghasilkan postingan yang rasional dan mendobrak. Ndak sekedar menggalau pasang lagu menye-menye di Facebook. 😎

  4. 4 Grace 27/06/2011 at 11:06 AM

    ^ halah produktif dan mendobrak apanya, ini kan cuma galau + curcol yang di-coat dengan this and that. :-”

  5. 5 lambrtz 27/06/2011 at 11:22 AM

    Karya-karya sastra besar juga diawali dengan kegalauan yang dicoat dengan this and that, Nona. 😎 :-“

  6. 6 Felicia 27/06/2011 at 3:58 PM

    Do you know that there’s an increase on International marriage amongst Japanese?
    If not mistaken, I read that nowadays 1 of 20 marriages (and 1 of 18 divorces) in Japan is international marriage…and that doesn’t count those who don’t get married..
    So I guess it’s not really because they are more homogenous than Indonesian, but because they are more ‘cuek’? 😛

  7. 7 lambrtz 27/06/2011 at 4:12 PM

    That’s interesting, but that’s not the main topic of this post. Your statement implicitly implies that 19 of 20 marriages are still between Japanese. My opinion is, Japanese people have more freedom in choosing their Japanese mates because they share the same cultural and religious backgrounds, due to Japan’s homogeneity, and this makes me jealous. 😛

    BTW, 1 out of 20 is a big number. May I see the data that support the claim? I’d like to know. 😕

    Anyway, about the cuek part, I suppose it’s akin to liberalism?
    *switch to Bahasa Indonesia*
    Ada teman orang Vietnam dulu cerita, ada temannya, cewek, menikah dengan orang Arab dan dibawa ke sana. Melihat foto teman ini

  8. 8 Asop 27/06/2011 at 4:17 PM

    Sara Carbonara… eh, Carbonero, itu pacarnya Iker Casillas bukan? 😀

  9. 9 Felicia 27/06/2011 at 4:33 PM

    Ah jadi ngga relevan sama international marriage tapi local aja ya…
    hmmm kalo dibilang2 sih sekarang ini kalo soal cultural dah lumayan banyak jg yg nikah beda suku di negara ini…
    cuma yg beda agama aja yang masih susah kali ya…

    BTW, 1 out of 20 is a big number. May I see the data that support the claim? I’d like to know. 😕

    Well, it’s not scientific data but anyway:

  10. 10 lambrtz 27/06/2011 at 4:42 PM

    Kok komen saya kepotong 😐
    Melihat foto teman ini, di sana musti pake burqa, teman saya kaget setengah mati, karena itu hal baru buat dia.

    Yap, pacarnya Iker Casillas. 😀

    Yaa karena mayoritasnya lokal sama lokal aja toh. 😛
    Ya beda suku sudah banyak, namun beda agama belum. Memang belum zamannya. Harapan saya sih ini lebih mudah 100 tahun lagi.

    BTW thanks for the link. 😀 *baca*

  11. 11 Ceritaeka 29/06/2011 at 9:57 AM

    Nic iki posting opo toooh :mrgreen:
    Mesem2 aku mocone.
    Wis ndang baliyo rene, though u r minority but greater chance to get Christian Javanese here 😛

  12. 12 lambrtz 29/06/2011 at 10:24 AM

    Hahahaha I don’t think I’m going to go back to work in Indonesia, at least in the near future. BTW I am not specifically looking for Javanese; I use that to describe the minority thing. 😛

  13. 13 Budianto Tandianus 30/06/2011 at 10:25 AM

    Hi, teens in Japan, I’m jealous of you :

    But, I guess what Lambrtz means is this :

  14. 14 lambrtz 30/06/2011 at 11:32 AM

    As for the first two, the Indonesian counterpart is too alay. But maybe actually the Japanese ones are similar.

    As for the last one, Indonesia is too conservative and at the same time hypocrite to have a group like that.

  15. 15 AnDo 30/06/2011 at 10:58 PM

    Repot amat sih mbe. Mau nyari yang cocok? minta dijodohin aja, tinggal bilang sama bapak/ibu, “Pak/Bu, Lambrtz mau kawin. Cari’in jodoh yang cocok yah!”
    Saya yakin 100 prosen, orang tua Lambrtz pasti sangat mengenal anaknya luar-dalam, sehingga nggak bakal nyari jodoh yang tidak sesuai dgn saudara Lambrtz. :mrgreen:

  16. 16 Gentole 03/07/2011 at 2:26 AM

    Watch HIMYM, learn from Ted, or Marshall, or Barney.

  17. 17 lambrtz 05/07/2011 at 9:27 PM

    Hrrrr I’m not into perjodohan -_- Perkenalan is fine but not perjodohan.

    For you to recommend HIMYM is 😯

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