The Current State of Mind

I still remember when I was slightly younger, I always believed in this song, that all we have to do is to give peace a chance. However, it seems to me that my mind has flipped inside out. Ever since that period, I started growing hatred, cynicism, derision, towards many people of different characters, yet still sharing one same trait: that they fail to fulfill my expectations, either morally, ideologically, ethically, behaviourally, in achievement, in effort, in value, etc. I realised that I have far too high of a moral standard, one which I see many people fail to achieve. I started being judgmental, although this is not new; I have been judgmental since I was a kid, although I had been successful in its suppression for quite some time. I start checking people’s marriage statuses. Among all married members of Monty Python, only Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin have not had a divorce. David Beckham and Victoria Adams, despite some gossips, remain loyal to each other. And Samuel L. Jackson successfully managed to get out of his hometown to further his career, whereas, as he told The Guardians, “lots of my contemporaries never left Chattanooga.” (source) He has been married to the same wife for more than 20 years too, as well as possessing a family friendly image. I hope this continues for him. Anyway, the cool part of the story is, I might walk my later life with rigidity, enough to protect me and my family from strong tornadoes, yet enough to hack somebody’s back if s/he is not up to my expectation. I know, this is futile, this is fatal. But I don’t know what to do from here. I was told to lower my expectations, especially towards people not related to me, just to invoke a bit of calmness, but I don’t know, I haven’t been successful in doing that in the last few months.


4 Responses to “The Current State of Mind”

  1. 1 AnDo 20/08/2011 at 10:12 PM

    All I want is to have my peace of mind…. \m/

  2. 2 jensen99 23/08/2011 at 1:10 AM

    Oh, this again… Relax, you are just looking for messiah. He’s the perfect one. All human is just sinful. *prophet mode* :mrgreen:
    I dont think you need to lower anything. You just dont have to blame (or punish) anybody if they fail to met your expectation. Just feel free going to heaven alone, let the rest heading toward hell… 😈

  3. 3 lambrtz 27/08/2011 at 12:51 AM

    Ada yang dari Kansas ga? Lebih suka Kansas daripada Boston. :mrgreen:

    Well I notice that, but actually I was not expecting for the Messiah. Demigods are fine. 😆

    Imposing expectations towards others, especially if related to career and morality, really sucks. I don’t even like to be expected (unless by professional contract and by family members, which I willfully have to accept being expected), but I can’t recently help judging people based on their life choices. “Hey A is married to early!” “Hey B’s career orientation is too narrow!” and so on and so forth.

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