Being Realistic

And there finally goes my second paper after 2.5 years. Already submitted. Not a great paper, I am not even sure whether it will be accepted, but at least there is a significant improvement from my first.

Sometimes I think that whatever I do, I can never fulfill my ideal dream. I can probably still chase my C–E goals, but never my A-B. No Nobel, no Turing Award, no Wikipedia page, no tenure in an elitist university, no job in Microsoft. Two things. One, coming from a mid-class family in a “third-world country” means that it was really hard for me to get a world-class education with a proper direction. It took me a long detour from Math – EE – IT – CS  – Math again, and I often think that I have wasted some years studying things which can be considered advanced but I won’t use in the rest of my life. My original passion is actually Math and always Math, although later I found that algorithmic, computational, and visual touches make Math much more comfortable to me. Please note that it doesn’t mean I am not grateful. I am really grateful. In fact, given my background, it was among the best education I could get. But it doesn’t mean that I cannot criticise, does it.

Two. Coming from a conservative society means that I have to put family life above everything else. Nah, drop that conservative thingy. I think it is a value shared by many societies in the world. But anyway, after passing certain age, it will be my turn to breed, and at that time I have to spend more time with my descendants. I don’t dare to lead a life a la Erdos. Furthermore, this nerdy gene from the periphery of a Gaussian distribution has to be passed to the next generation.

Well, since goals A–B might not be possible for me, I think I have to think of another way which can grant me a Wikipedia page to contribute as optimal as possible to human civilisation. Anyway, I target to live until about 75, so hopefully I still/only have 50 years plus to do something.


15 Responses to “Being Realistic”

  1. 1 Butterfly Menikmati Dunia 01/11/2011 at 11:53 AM

    50 years is quite long Mar…so you are able to do lots of thing 😀

  2. 2 Grace 01/11/2011 at 2:15 PM

    honestly speaking, you sound scary to have those things/life figured out/planned. :-S

  3. 3 lambrtz 01/11/2011 at 2:30 PM

    @Butterfly Menikmati Dunia
    Luckily the career I choose is a life-long career, unlike, let’s say, sports. So yeah, hopefully I still have much time to do things. Thank you Ito BMD.

    Which one is scary? Goals A-E? It’s common for people to set up goals, isn’t it? Or the 75 years thingy? I suppose that’s the average life expectancy for an Indonesian, right?

  4. 4 Grace 01/11/2011 at 4:35 PM

    Well, maybe it’s just me, but, the way you had your life set, planned, expected is quite…ambitious? You need to loosen up a bit, maybe.
    But, who am I to say anyway, as long as you enjoy the life path you choose, it shouldnt matter, right?

  5. 5 lambrtz 01/11/2011 at 5:42 PM

    Hahaha, people like me even consider entertainment as a task to recharge life. What can I do. 😛
    Anyway, thank you Grace.

  6. 6 christin 02/11/2011 at 7:58 AM

    that’s quite a bold way to plan your life… and I’d say it’s great. well maybe we just want to have things under control, rite? 😆

    enjoy your life then, thing will happen when it happens.

    cmunguuudddhh eaaa kk!

  7. 7 Mizzy 02/11/2011 at 10:20 AM

    Been there before. Ah nope. Actually, I have made some crucial decisions recently regarding my future-academic-research life. Let’s say…I have rejected an opportunity that would bring me to benua biru :P. but then I believe that everything happens for a reason :D. being flexible and open to other possibilities that offered by life, probably that’s the key to get survive… like what Darwin said, “Survival of the fittest” \m/.

  8. 8 lambrtz 02/11/2011 at 11:13 AM

    Me? I just want to (partially) achieve things that my parents used to motivate me to study as a kid. The lives of Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein. 😆
    But as I said, even if I cannot achieve A-B, C-E are good enough, and probably someday I can still make (sporadic) shots towards A-B.
    Anyway, mAkkAcIh kK EAaaAa,,,,,

    I think I am familiar that particular issue. Well, I’m sure that you have made some adaptations to that. 😛 Now maybe it’s my time to do so, as any rigidity might result in deep depression. In any case, let’s be fit and survive. \m/

  9. 9 itikkecil 04/11/2011 at 1:44 PM

    btw, kalo page wikipedia bukannya bisa bikin sendiri? *eh*

  10. 10 lambrtz 04/11/2011 at 1:47 PM

    Kalo orangnya ga notable ya marked for deletion laa :-j

  11. 11 AnDo 05/11/2011 at 5:11 PM

    being realistic means….. you were not realistic for 24 years?? :-ss

  12. 12 lambrtz 06/11/2011 at 2:25 AM

    I used to take the pride from being a 99% idealist. But now I already have some feet on the ground. But that’s OK, that’s what I was looking for. 😛

  13. 13 Eon Strife 07/11/2011 at 11:47 AM

    no excuse, many notable figures (rich people, politicians, etc.) come from poor or unfavourable background…including the fictional $crooge McDuck !

  14. 14 Pak Guru 14/11/2011 at 9:43 PM

    Okeh, let’s start a rock band!

  15. 15 lambrtz 15/11/2011 at 12:39 AM

    @Eon Strife
    Often the temptation is about the thought to achieve success as soon as possible, because you want to beat those high-achieving people. Talking about inferiority complex. 😛 I think I have to look at those people you mention. Because success is like pregnancy. People praise you when you are success, but they never have any idea how many times you are fucked. 😆

    @Pak Guru
    We don’t need no education, we don’t need no thought control \m/

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