And there finally goes my second paper after 2.5 years. Already submitted. Not a great paper, I am not even sure whether it will be accepted, but at least there is a significant improvement from my first.
Sometimes I think that whatever I do, I can never fulfill my ideal dream. I can probably still chase my C–E goals, but never my A-B. No Nobel, no Turing Award, no Wikipedia page, no tenure in an elitist university, no job in Microsoft. Two things. One, coming from a mid-class family in a “third-world country” means that it was really hard for me to get a world-class education with a proper direction. It took me a long detour from Math – EE – IT – CS – Math again, and I often think that I have wasted some years studying things which can be considered advanced but I won’t use in the rest of my life. My original passion is actually Math and always Math, although later I found that algorithmic, computational, and visual touches make Math much more comfortable to me. Please note that it doesn’t mean I am not grateful. I am really grateful. In fact, given my background, it was among the best education I could get. But it doesn’t mean that I cannot criticise, does it.
Two. Coming from a conservative society means that I have to put family life above everything else. Nah, drop that conservative thingy. I think it is a value shared by many societies in the world. But anyway, after passing certain age, it will be my turn to breed, and at that time I have to spend more time with my descendants. I don’t dare to lead a life a la Erdos. Furthermore, this nerdy gene from the periphery of a Gaussian distribution has to be passed to the next generation.
Well, since goals A–B might not be possible for me, I think I have to think of another way
which can grant me a Wikipedia page to contribute as optimal as possible to human civilisation. Anyway, I target to live until about 75, so hopefully I still/only have 50 years plus to do something.