Archive for the 'Spiritual' Category

The Satan in Me, and on Repressing Him

So despite my image as a Mr Nice Guy *halah*, lately I have done a contemplation and realised that I have some unholy tendencies, some of which I have been having since I was a kid, and are waiting to unleash when opportunities come. Those are:

  • Trollish nature. When confronted with clichéd, orthodox and irrational ideas, I can’t help to raise my libertard soul and activate my killjoy plugin. Ask Mbak Lumiere, she knows this. 😛
  • Revengeful heart. I sometimes want to cause exactly the same misfortune to the person previously inflicting it to me, so that s/he can know how it feels to be treated that way. In other words, I want to show that s/he is not the only person who can do that: I can do it too.
  • Reflective behaviour. You do me good and I will treat you good, you do me bad and I will treat you bad.
  • Ten thousand grudges. You do me bad, I can forgive you (well I am a forgiving person), but I will keep it in my mind until some time. Until then, I can’t help to feel uneasy with you. Have had this a couple of times, for years. Back then I had a problem with one senior, maybe I was not polite too in asking, and he scolded me really hard (well he had a reputation for being short-tempered), and I ceased to talk with him for years, even avoiding the place where he likes to dwell.
  • Pissing off the pissed off. Are you angry for no apparent reason? I will be tempted to lure you to an even more catastrophic explosion. A schaudenfraude. When we were still kids, my brother was angry for no good reason, and I made him even angrier.

These are indeed bad things. Jesus says that:

38 You have heard that it has been said: An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. 39 But I say to you not to resist evil: but if one strike you on your right cheek, turn to him also the other:

Matthew 5:38-39

and also

43 You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbour, and hate your enemy. 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies: do good to them that hate you: and pray for them that persecute and calumniate you:

Matthew 5:43-44

and those passages condemn my tendencies that I mentioned. I ideally endorse pacifism, a passive rebellion, and, also slightly influenced by Buddhism, I also believe that bad emotions are bad and are not supposed to be disbursed at all. These are signs of anger. Hate and anger are very big sins to me, and thank God, I can repress them most of the time. I also suspect my introversion to play a significant role here: I cannot show anger and I must not show it. I always try to act according to the constructed morality set that I create and apply only to myself, but sometimes it fails though, so whenever it happens, I would like to offer my sincere apologies. These, along with greed, might be the big sins I will carry until I die.


PS: Of course I know the alternative meaning of the biblical passage above. It’s still not related to vengeance though, IMO. Liberation theology FTW. :mrgreen:

PPS: By sin, I don’t refer to sin as per its religious meaning, which I don’t really care. By sin, it means causing discomfort to somebody else.

PPPS: Jesus is figure numero zero to me, before John Lennon and Mahatma Gandhi. I wholeheartedly believe that he was pretty much a left-winger figure. Hospitable, compassionate, yet rebellious and courageous inside. A person whom I deeply adore. So I hope you, my dear readers, don’t mind if I put his action here and there. This acts as both my secular and religious manifesto.




Biblical verses source:

Superman’s Thread

Short post. Manusiasuper posted a new status on Facebook this morning, quoting some sentences from Geddoe‘s post. And I really love how the thread goes! And when I say I really love it, I really mean it. I am alone in my lab and can’t stop LOLing.

Look, I am not always in agreement with Geddoe, but I really love to see some people get pissed off. We should do this more often.

Random Thoughts

I think it’s time to publish this. 🙂

Continue reading ‘Random Thoughts’

Surga dan Neraka

Heaven and Hell

Heaven and Hell

Buat apalah engkau repot-repot memikirkan surga yang bentuknya saja kau tak tahu, kau tak kenal, dan hanya bisa kau raba berdasar nubuat-nubuat para nabi
Jika sebuah senyuman dari orang yang engkau tolong sudah cukup untuk membuatmu bahagia
Bahkan bilapun itu adalah sebuah sumpah serapah yang kau terima, engkau tetap bisa tersenyum simpul

Buat apalah engkau repot-repot memikirkan neraka yang bentuknya saja kau tak tahu, kau tak kenal, dan hanya bisa kau raba berdasar nubuat-nubuat para nabi
Jika air mata orang yang engkau celakai sudah cukup untuk membuatmu menyesal
Jika cacian mereka sudah cukup untuk membuatmu terjaga semalaman, merenungi hari yang lalu ketika engkau berbuat salah

Buat apalah engkau repot-repot memikirkan ganjaran apa yang akan kau terima di alam barzah
Biarlah persamaan-persamaan Tuhan memberi nilai yang tepat untukmu

And He Says…


Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi

Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi



There is no worse sickness for the soul,
O you who are proud, than this pretense of perfection.
The heart and eyes must bleed a lot
before self-complacency falls away.


One day you will look back and laugh at yourself.
You’ll say, “ I can’t believe I was so asleep!
How did I ever forget the truth?
How ridiculous to believe that sadness and sickness
Are anything other than bad dreams.”

lambrtz looks like this


You can write comments in any language that you want, but please bear in mind that I only understand 4 languages: English, Indonesian, Javanese and Malay.



August 2022
Click to view my Personality Profile page